Thomas “Tommy” VanEtten, 81

Thomas “Tommy” VanEtten (née Strong) passed peacefully into the presence of his Savior Jesus Christ, and the welcoming arms of his husband the late Robert VanEtten on January 2, 2026, at Riverview Hospital in Wisconsin Rapids, Wis., following a brief hospitalization for respiratory failure.

Tommy was born April 24, 1944, in Stevens Point to Theodore and Mary (née Crueger) Strong, and was raised by William and Hazel Crueger. Tommy is preceded in death by loving aunt Irene Haka, sister Marlene (Rinaldi) Strong, and brothers Bert “BJ” Strong and Michael Strong. Tommy is survived by brother Ted (Christa) Strong of Plover, Wis., niece Meredith (John) Myshka of Wausau, Wis., sister-in-law Diane (deceased Michael) Strong of Plover, Wis., nephew Michael (Jodi) Strong of Plover, Wis., brother Pat Strong of Stevens Point, Wis., sister Mary Repinski of Greenfield, Wis., two nieces Jill (Jeff) Tomczak of West Allis and Joanne (Blake) Jones of Kesheena, and nephew John (Chloe) Repinski of Oak Creek, along with a number of great-nieces and great-nephews. He is further survived by Jeremy Bartelt, his caregiver and close companion. Their bond of love and friendship was nurtured through mutual support and was a blessing to all who witnessed Tommy’s commitment and steadfast belief in Jeremy.

Following graduation from Pacelli High School, Tommy attended St. John’s College in Minnesota, and it was there that he met his eventual husband, Robert. Both of them spent their working careers with IBM, moving from Minneapolis to Atlanta and San Francisco. Tommy and Robert retired to Palm Springs, Calif., and following the death of Robert in 2014, Tommy returned to Stevens Point in 2015 and immersed himself in the local recovery community, where he made hundreds of friends and a lasting impression with his generous spirit and love of life. The recovery community was his “tribe” and an intricate part of his social and support network stretching from California to Wisconsin. Words are not adequate to describe the effect Tommy had on every person he met, who he welcomed and embraced without judgment, living life in full authenticity and transparency. He leaves behind many friends not only in the recovery community but in his local church families as well.

Visitation will take place Saturday, January 10, at 9:30 a.m., followed by a Mass of Christian Burial at 11 a.m. at St. John the Evangelist Episcopal Church, 320 Oak St. in Wisconsin Rapids, Wis., with the Rev. David Klutterman officiating, assisted by the Rt. Rev. James Jelinek. A simple potluck fellowship will follow in the parish hall at the conclusion of the service, hosted by the St. John’s congregation. All are welcome to attend these “Safe Space” events.

Interment will take place at Guardian Angel Cemetery at a later date. In lieu of flowers, it is suggested that memorials or donations be made to a fund that will support the local recovery community and LGBTQ+ organizations in Tommy’s honor. Pisarski Funeral Homes are honored to be serving the VanEtten family. For online condolences, visit www.pisarskifuneralhome.com.