Column: Shoe’s kitchen junk drawer
By Tim “Shoe” Sullivan
With spring only a couple of months away, I decided it was time to inspect my kitchen junk drawer. One never knows what one might find in one.
The definition of a “junk drawer” is probably: “a drawer that one keeps things in.”
Everyone has one. You have one, and so do I. No home or apartment would be complete without one.
I expected this chore to last about a half-hour.
It took about two days.
It’s always easy to put off cleaning out a junk drawer. But when the thing is so full you can’t even open it, you know the time has come.
The main reason the junk drawer was so difficult to open came to light almost immediately.
It was discovered that a half-full bag of marbles was stuck. That was the culprit.
After pulling out the bag of marbles, the items found were:
- Some loose paper clips.
- A ball of string.
- A few rubber bands.
- A ruler.
- Some pens and pencils. None of the pens worked.
- A tenner shoe. Just one (1) shoe. For the left foot.
- Some bottle caps.
- Some loose coins. A quarter (date 2022), a dime, and two pennies.
- Some baseball cards. All different years, and mostly of Brewer players.
- A light bulb. It worked!
- A used hockey puck. This was amazing since I don’t play hockey.
- Some AAA batteries.
- Half of a candy bar. (Hershey with almonds).
- A yellow bow tie.
- Several loose keys. This always bugs me, since I have no idea what those keys go to.
- An opened tube of glue, which explains why some of the stuff was stuck to the drawer.
- A golf ball. And I don’t golf.
- A VCR tape of Cool Hand Luke.
- Part of an ice fishing pole. And I don’t go ice fishing.
- Bobbers. And hooks.
- An old wallet. And of course nothing in it.
- Buttons.
- A right-handed batting glove. I remember where it came from. Many years ago, I was in the Brewer dugout at Milwaukee County Stadium. An older guy and I were the only two people in the dugout. (Later on, Bob Uecker went to the other end to interview manager Phil Garner). We were there then. So I looked down on the bench and saw a barely ripped batting glove. The old guy said he was in the dugout the night before, and Robin Yount had ripped that batting glove and tossed it away. So I took it and still have it.
- A tape measure.
- A deck of cards with Pittsburgh Steeler emblems on the cards.
- An ice cube tray with a crack in it.
- Several pairs of scissors, and they’re all dull.
- Some plastic army men, including one with a bazooka.
- A pack of chewing gum.
- Some knives that don’t cut.
- A screwdriver.
- A Christmas tree ornament.
- Half of a yo-yo. A yo?
- Some dental floss.
- A broken watch.
- A fly swatter.
I think you can see why I’m never in any hurry to clean out my junk drawer.
- A golf tee.
- Two baseballs.
- A sock.
- Toothpaste.
- Razor blades.
- Seven plastic spatulas.
- Forks and spoons.
- A bingo card.
- A map.
- Ice cream scooper.
- A shoehorn.
- A whisk broom.
- A box of crayons.
I was too exhausted to go any farther, so the proceedings came to a halt.
I kept everything but threw away the sock.
My next goal will be to find the other tenner shoe.