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Column: an ugly, dirty chair

By Chris Chiapuzio

Yep, it’s an ugly, dirty, cigarette-marred chair.

Some of you might know where it’s at. Those of you who know the chair are no doubt having a ton of memories flood back right about now.

For those of you who don’t know it, it looks a little rough. A little dirty. Okay—a lot rough, and a lot dirty.

This chair has been in the women’s bathroom of Frank & Ernie’s Pub for as long as I can remember. It’s a companion chair. The chair your bestie sat in while you were doing your business (because girls don’t go to the bathroom alone).

“Gotta go to the bathroom, come with me!”

Guys never get why women go together.

I don’t know what goes on in a guy’s can, but I can share a little insight as to what happens when women leave together.

Yep, we pee. In front of each other. And we talk. A lot.

Back in the day, we talked about the men in the bar. We talked about the women in the bar. We talked about who was playing at Riverfront, who was hosting the Packer pregame party on Sunday, and we decided if we were going to order from Mickey’s or Bill’s.

We talked about stupid things, and we talked about deep things.

We talked about our broken hearts, and we talked about that one townie that made us go all stupid giddy.

Over the years, that stupid chair became almost therapeutic, and the chats got deeper.

While sitting on that chair, we helped plan each other’s weddings, we celebrated new jobs, we solved the world’s problems.

We also helped each other through some pretty dark times in our lives. We cemented life-long friendships.

My girlfriends would sit on that chair as I cried, then blew my nose and fixed my makeup. So that I could go back out with a smiling face.

I sat on that chair as my girlfriends cried, blew their noses and fixed their makeup. So that they could go back out with smiling faces.

I would not give up one of those crying-nose blowing-makeup fixing nights with any of them.

It’s just an ugly, dirty cigarette marred chair. But to me and my girls, it’s a lot more than that. Sometimes we all need a chair. If you haven’t already, I hope you find yours.